Friday, March 20, 2009

Just an Observation . . . Kind of a Vent Post

I was spending some time lurking on some blogs of families who are in China having their Forever Family Days.  It gives me so much hope and longing when I look at these blogs, and I can just imagine when it's our turn!  Well, I came across this one families' blog.  The most current post (they had already received their daughter, who seemed to be about 11 mos. old) talked about how she had gone to have a Chinese foot and back massage for only 10 dollars!  But when she got back her frazzled husband had been dealing with their precious daughter (who they had waited on for almost 3 years, mind you) who had been CRYING THE WHOLE TIME SHE WAS GONE BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER MOM!   The mom who posted this stated that she didn't realize that her daughter had started to attach to her yet!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  How can you leave your brand new adopted daughter to go get a massage (well, it was only $10!)?  Did she not read ANY attachment books?  
These adopted children, not only have they gone through so much in their short lives here on earth, but the last few days before they meet their Forever Families is probably the toughest!  If the child has been with a foster family almost since they were abandoned then a day or two before they are placed with their Forever Family the foster family takes them back to the orphanage to spend the night.  The next day they are taken into a room to meet their adopted families - a room they've never seen before, filled with people who look not too much like them, and who do not sound like anything they've heard.  Can you imagine what is going through that child's head?  And then all the people who do look somewhat familiar leave them there with these strangers.  The adopted children go through a grieving process and it is a traumatic experience to be a part of.  
But by all means, let's go get a massage!  It's only $10!  I'll be gone for an hour and a half, I promise, she won't even know I'm gone.  You'll be fine, brand new daddy!
By the way, I did not leave a comment on this person's blog.  I refrained.

3 comments:

Jewels of My Heart said...

Hi Lori,
I just got your comment that you want to be added to my Lady Peep emailing list. I would love to but I need your email address please.

Having followed your link to your site.... I have to say that this post both chaps my hide and breaks my heart. I just don't understand people! I sincerely hope that this precious child's mother soon understands how fragile their child is.... I just can't imagine where her mind was to think that it was ok! Uuuuuuuuuuuuug!

Linda said...

Lori, just a thought...sometimes that adjustment period is EXTREMELY stressful for the parents too and someone might just need a chance to get away for awhile and find their calm place. Maybe the little baby was asleep when she left? Maybe she had been bonding well with Daddy and they thought it would be ok.
Linda

connie said...

Hey, Lori, I never have gotten that $10 massage, though I've tried 3 times. Maybe next time?
Hugs to you!
Connie
ps. Kambry's video is working now ;-)